After posting my other question, Representation And Yahoo Avatars, I decided to post this. It’s more general, but it’s basically the same principle. As a tomboi, I’m often mislabeled as a lesbian or a thug (I am neither), or I am not “woman” enough. Whenever I go to the mall with one of my female friends who dresses like Beyonce, people stare at us as if I’m the “man” of the relationship. Here are my questions for those of you who *are* tombois, for those of you who *kno* someone that is classified as a tomboi, and for those of you who care to participate:
Do you feel that tombois are given a bad reputation? Do you feel that tombois are stereotyped often? Do you feel that there is a negative connotation to the word “tomboi”?
If any of you would like to visit my 360, please do. There, you will see that I spell most things differently. Other than thinking it unique, I don’t use “boi” to symbolize anything. It’s just a different take on how to spell a word. Thank you, however, for pointing that out to me… Although, I can’t see how it would affect me outside of typing. Nonetheless, again, thanks for pointing that out to me. I didn’t kno, but now I do.
I’m only attracted to tomboys, and/or former tomboys…
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no an if others say they do then thats rediculous. it also depends on ur definition of tomboy. i lik hangin wit boys. but lik flirtin wit them too. im just lik a normal girl but just wit boy realities at times. at times tomboys are stereotyped. but that shouldnt effect u or anyone else.u just be u.
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This is a two sided answer.
Yes… they get a bad name, but only to ignorant people who either don’t know any better, or deep down are envious of your outlook and abilities.
My girlfriend is a tom boy, and she fixes both of our vehicles. Noone believes that she can rebuild my transmission, and yet she’s still extremely feminine. Her ability to do the tom boy-ish things is one of the most attractive qualities about her..
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I don’t think many tomboys are given a bad repuatation, atleast not where I live, or that there is a negative connotation. Being girly girl can attract guys, but so do tomboys, and plus we have more fun. I’m myself, a young woman, but I love sports, don’t wear makeup, often wear guys baggy pants, and listen to metal music. My friends view this as a positive, because differences create interest. I have fun with the guys too, and I know they’re attracted to me (on a friend level or more) because I’m comfortable with myself and don’t need to dress like Beyonce to get positive attention.
I don’t think any stereotypes will hold people back from talking or meeting you, they’ll realize that either girly girl or tomboy, it doesn’t matter if you get along and have fun together.
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I don’t mean to render any problems that you may have as insignificant. But I think that tomboys probably have it better than sissies. At least for children. Prehaps these perceptions only pertain to children. Or they are only held by childish minds. But then, if I said that I am a sissy, how would peoples reaction differ from your saying you are a tomboy. I think parents would rather see their daughters act like boys then their sons act like girls. It may be a relfection on a male oriented world.
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The answer really ties into gender expectations in our culture. I think you need to find yourself a feminist bookstore, I’m sure the people there could point you to a dozen books on this subject.
On a differnt note, I’m intrigued by your spelling of tomboy and tomboi. In the gay community, the spelling of boy as boi indicates trans status. For example, if I were a former woman who was dressing and living as a man, I would probably call myself a boi or a transboi. Or if I were a man who wore lots of women’s clothing, I would call myself a boi. I’ve not seen much heterosexual use that spelling before. It kinda confuses me on the whole not a lesbian thing.
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I am a teacher. At Halloween time there is invariably at least one little girl who wants to dress up in a traditionally male costume, such as a male athelete or a male superhero. Everyone thinks it cute and says the little girl has a lot of personality or that she’s spunky. Every now and again, however, a little boy wants to be the blue carebear or a witch. Other parents usually whisper and laugh and criticize the boys parents for feminizing him. The parents of the boy are usually embarassed and or upset. The little boy is very rarely allowed to wear the feminine costume. Tomboy, stop whining like a girl. It could be worse.
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