Will try to make this short. It’s a long story. My husband and I have been married for 11 years, been together a total of almost 19 years…the first 17 years of us being together my husband was an alcoholic and I feel out of love with him. About 4 1/2 years ago I met a lesbian who is a now a very good friend of mine and I feel in love with her. I feel quilty as heck about it with being married but she doesn’t feel the same so we are just friends but I still love her with all my heart and don’t know how to get over her so that we can remain friends. She has always been very understanding of my feelings and etc even when I get jealous of her and her girl friend and other issues but it is still hard on our friendship sometimes. She gave her new g/f a ring and I know that one day the’ll have a ceromony and she’ll want me to be there as a friend and I want to be too but I want these feelings to go away before that time so I don’t get jealous or anything. Any comments or suggestions
In responces to some of the answers I got I don’t really want a divorce now. It might be wrong but since I can’t have the one I love with all my heart I will stay with my husband who does love me with all his heart and we have been through alot and now that he don’t drink we get along pretty well. I can’t stay totally away from her to try to get over her because she is like my best friend. I did start working nights so that I would see her less but I can’t get her completely out of my life. I would be miserable. Thanks for all the responses….keep them coming please.
First of all, I think that your marriage is over, so you should maybe get a divorce before you try dating your friend. Second of all, your friend doesn’t feel you the way you feel about her, but you can respect that. You would rather have her as a friend than nothing at all. I feel that you are a lesbian or at least bi-sexual, you should definitely seek another woman, if you are ready for that kind of experience. She is happy in her life, so be happy for her and make your self happy by being with someone who loves you like you love them.
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Maybe you should have relations with another woman to see if you like it first.
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Try finding another woman to love. It eases the pain.
It’s good that your lesbian friend is understanding. You should be there at her ceremony.
Not sure how complicated your marriage is, or whether you live in/around an accepting culture.
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As long as you continue to see this woman you will never get over her because the fantasy will always be there. Time to be a grown up and make some hared choices; like getting out of your marriage if that is what you need or want. then you can begin to pursue healthy relationships straight or lesbian with someone who is available. You don’t want to waste anymore of your life in fruitless relationships.
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